The Shawarma Experience



It’s funny but after listening to one lady’s testimony, I went to check out this shawarma spot. The place had a beautiful setting and poise environment. It was designed in such a way that one wouldn’t want to eat there, but you can knock yourself out with any drink you dim fit. It was a little scanty for a Sunday evening, so I rushed to place my order to escape buying any drink. The chef told me it could take up to 2hours. (I immediately turned back to see if I was at the times square on a New Year Eve in New York☹️). He showed me the list of orders they already had at the moment.  It was so long I almost started looking for President Trump’s next move ha-ha. I muttered “we die here” as I went back to my seat realizing there were some unfinished projects I needed to complete with my phone. Such a great time to put in hard work I thought.

About 45mins later, human presence increased drastically. I looked up and no one there was alone, lovers everywhere so much so I felt Adele or Ed sheeran was having a concert. A couple came in and sat close to my table and was being all smooch, sweet and sensitive. “Am in Paris I thought. Why must these people rob it to my face that am single. Is there a couple retreat I didn’t know about?” I started feeling uncomfortable. I took a good look around and I noticed all these ‘couples’ had a drink or two. I was the only lonely guy there, and the only one without a drink too. Dear Queen Elizabeth, use some British pounds and come to my rescue I said to myself. Being the smart man that I am, I went to get bottle water😎, the attendant told me it’s N500 roughly two dollars for the small bottle (something that’s N50 on the street and far less than 50 cents). I asked which one, just to make sure she wasn’t trying to sell the entire Red Sea to me 💧. It turned into a Valentine’s special as more sensitive couples came in. Oh goodness what type of temptation is this o, nobody informed me o Kim Kardashian where are you please.

At this point, I didn’t care if a female Chimpanzee came in and called my name. There was this couple taking shots from each other’s mouth and their ‘couple’ friends clapped. (Zoe, you should have just bought lacasera & gala which are popular cheap snacks in my home country). Next thing, this girl walks in. She wasn’t so dressed but she was pretty, simple clothes that I felt she lived around the neighborhood. She walked straight to the chef, I guess to place her orders and then sat at my table. I looked upon her like she was the messiah as she smiled at me. Finally, the universe had my cry. She sat for a short time and passed me a piece of paper. I felt so excited I almost had a brain freeze. I opened the piece of paper and read “Brother can you please help me with 5k” about 20dollars equivalent or less. See this woman, do I look like I work for Bank of England I thought. ☹️☹️..

My joy was rigged like the Georgian governor’s election in the U.S, and the female Chimpanzee felt so good right about that time. I felt people staring at me like one chick magnet because the girl was all smiling. In my head I heard them cheering “All hail the King” With Lion King tussling Simba in the hair excited by my accomplishment. With that in mind I continued the written correspondence (I even asked for extra sheet ha-ha).

Long story short, I redeemed myself in front of those people that can’t keep their hands off themselves. The truth is God, family and friends are the most important. Always check up on your friends, you never know who you can be an angel to. Also never hesitate to help if you find yourself in a position to. (Don’t be like me winks*). I didn’t get her number though *hands on head * Don’t want to conceive the thought of anyone ever hindering my shawarma again except it’s an invite to meet the Obama’s then I won’t be prouder to engage in teleportation.

Written by Zoe.

Zoe likes to be goofy and basically have a good time. He likes to draw and sing but when he sings, oh my goodness *hands on head* Peace be onto you.

Other posts includes


Having a Hoe For a Best Friend.

The Hoe life on the Move

The Struggle For a Valentine Experience:

All because of a women:

Lecturer’s Frustrations At It’s Height:



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