I’m 35 years old and I already feel like a failure in life

Hello Gabriel

My name is Martin (not real name), I graduated from the university in the year 2009, that’s some 10 years ago. I’m an introvert, like the worst kind you can ever think of. I think this has also contributed to majority of my problems.

At 35, one would think that I’d have a nice paying job, nice little house with wife and beautiful kids, but the rude awakening is that I still live with my parents, I have two younger siblings, the youngest just got a job with a multinational company, somewhere in VI, while the other one is a medical doctor based in the states.

My parents, most especially my father don’t miss the opportunity to remind me of what a failure I am or I have become. He once threatened to send me out of his house, if I don’t sit up and lead by example. My mum at the initial stage used to encourage me and give me words of advice, but recently she told me that she has lost her patience, that I’m trying to sow the seed of stagnation and regression in our family.

I know you all would be wondering how I got here, but from a very young age, I’ve always been known to be brilliant and academic inclined, the funny part is that I graduated with a first class(most people, especially my immediate family seems to have forgotten) from one of the top federal universities in the country, where I studied architecture.

Like I said previously, I have poor social skills, I tend to bottle up my emotions instead of opening up to people, I’ve never had a girlfriend, not because I’m not good looking but because I can’t summon the courage to approach a lady. People say I’m timid and scared to face the world.

I had a job once immediately after I finished school at a construction firm, I worked there for two good years and I saved every penny I earned, hoping to invest in real estate, but I was swindled by some persons who claimed the sold landed properties, that was close to N8 million. All my life’s savings gone, I took a huge amount of loan from my company, when I couldn’t pay back I was sacked and humiliated.

Well ever since, all my efforts at getting another job has proven futile, it’s like there’s a spiritual force that is holding me back, infact I’ve lost all hope there is, my situation has deteriorated into extreme depression as I type this, suicide thoughts keep flooding into my head, I need help please, I’d be reading the comments below, please no negative comment, like I said I’m a very emotional person.



  1. Wendy - Reply

    I advise you remain strong.. Since you earn a living, strong consider getting a house no matter how small.

    • Gabriel Alaribe - Reply

      He’s in the comment section, I’m sure he is seeing this.
      Thank you

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