Having a hoe for a best friend



I have a best friend, let’s call her Linda. Linda is in extra-ordinary person. She didn’t have massive breast or the Nicki Minaj type of ass but there’s hardly no way one won’t notice her when she’s around. Adding to that is the fact that her beauty is well defined. The Jackie Appia type of beauty with glowing skin which I got to find out was the result of money, consistency and some kinds of oil glow or whatever.

Myself and Linda met under a funny circumstance. I got an invite to attend a birthday party. Although I was going back and forth on it, the boredom tormenting my life that day made my heart rejoice as it could be an exciting escape for boredom. Am not exactly a party kind of guy. Well partly because of the economy and also because I still don’t get why for example a drink that cost N4,000 outside will cost N15,000 at the club or some hangout locations. (My Nigerian sense won’t kill me) Anyway my friend was adamant that I look really good because according to her, it was a “high society birthday party gathering” and you never can tell who you bump into. (For my mind I was low key thinking if she felt I usually didn’t dress well)

Although am a simple type of guy, the jeans and Adidas type of guy, I ensured to add some spice today basically because I was under pressure. Besides (you know say this Lagos tough and market must sell) I requested for an Uber (since Oti bobo no get car ) and in no time I was headed for the venue. As I arrived at the venue, true to my initial heads-up, it was party filled with the “big shots in town” The calibre of cars I saw packed outside simply said it all.


Moments after I walked in, is like the gods of fine girls were on my side as one hot chick that was all seducing me with her cleavage walked up to me and said great smell you’ve got. With a smile I said thanks following it up with a better pick up like “if you were the first thing foreigners see when they enter Nigeria perhaps we will have more investors” She laughed hard at this and from there we started talking about various stuffs that actually made me laugh. (she was seriously competing with Big Bang Theory on the humor level) She literally initiated 65percent of the conversation and often we will throw light shades at various attendance and damn Madam can throw shades gon (maybe she’s part of those twitter demons that can insult people’s souls). By the way she introduced herself as Linda and consequently swept me off my feet, to be honest I hardly fall for that.

During our conversation, one not so bad looking guy who was more good looking with arrogance than physical attributes walked up to her and started engaging with her without acknowledging my presence. (Is like he wants to die by Ebola virus abi) Anyway moments into their discussion Linda surprised me, she plainly said “its rude to approach me when clearly you saw a guy was already shooting his shot ha-ha and worse is no Hi or acknowledging the presence of the guy at all) Just as I heard her say this, I instantly fell in love with the friendship we were building for starters. Such guts she has. Anyway the potential Ebola Patience was taken aback by her honesty and left. Although we later found out he comes from a very wealthy family, it didn’t matter.


We enjoyed the party and when it was time to go, I escorted her outside, got a ride for her after we exchanged contact and let her go. Just as I ordered my Uber ride, called the driver to tell him my exact location which good thing he was about two minutes out, that same potential Ebola patient of a guy approached me this time with two other bouncer looking guys and with a tap on my shoulder he said (shey you don chop number, you go chop small beating join make the tin rime) Since you have gotten her number, you might as well get some beating to spice things up.



Written by Chris

(picture withheld)


Other posts includes

Things to do during the Nigerian Elections: https://zubelu.com/blog/things-to-do-during-the-nigerian-elections/?preview=true&_thumbnail_id=754

The Hoe On The Move: https://zubelu.com/blog/the-hoe-life-on-the-move/

 The Shawarma Experience: https://zubelu.com/blog/the-shawarma-experience//

 The Monster called Friend-Zone: https://zubelu.com/blog/the-bitch-called-friend-zone/

The Struggle For a Valentine Experience: https://zubelu.com/blog/the-battle-for-a-valentine-experience/

All because of a women: https://zubelu.com/blog/all-because-of-women-first-ice-cream-experience-turns-bad/

Lecturer’s Frustrations At It’s Height: https://zubelu.com/blog/lecturer-and-their-frustrations/

 The Friend Zone Drama https://zubelu.com/blog/the-bitch-called-friend-zone/


    • admin - Reply

      Ha-ha. Your comment got all of us laughing. I will ensure the continuation goes up tomorrow or the day after at most. Be expectant. Remember, love is patient.

  1. Wonderbaar - Reply

    It’s more than 2days now and we still don’t have the continuation. Zubelu I’m waiting

    • Your Global Embassy - Reply

      We appreciate your excitement around the blog and our contents. The continuation is finally up. You can search for “The Hoe life On The Move” on the home page or go to the Experiences upload. I posted it early this morning.

  2. keo nha cai - Reply

    In cases like this, you will have to invest in a relatively
    easy picture frames. Waterslide paper emerged in clear or white however clear is more preferred,
    considering that any type of unprinted locations on the image continues to be clear.
    The gallery also serves enormous events coming from all aspects of the globe.

Leave Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *