FIRST COLD STONE EXPERIENCE
I cannot exactly place the gravity that catapulted me into cold stone but definitely it must hold some sway and power. Festive season had me in my vibes also the European and American merchants must have returned so it was also time to scout for hot chicks. You know “the abroad people” which some countries I won’t name are excluded. I mean it was supposed to be abroad not abroad suffering. “Boo yah” It’s usually a tradition to go flexing during this period irrespective of whether the money was gotten legit or from the fence. I mean nobody gives two fucks. Twerk for daddy angels *love emoji*.
My cousin and I got dressed and decided to head for the mall. It was just as expected, see beautiful girls everywhere. The way I was hearing foreign accent made me ask my cousin “you dey sure say we never jand like this”. The ones that were legit original and those Children of the gutters forming New Yorkers. Woo, trailer will hit you soon don’t worry. We had money with us so we went on the lavishing level, to a game centre and started playing games and having a good time. Games by the way was more expensive at the mall than in the area. We bought some stuffs you know, snacks and all so it won’t be like poverty is using us to win Champions league.
Lo and Behold, we spotted a cold stone store. The sight was magnificent and instantly attractive, breaking down all our resistance. It also didn’t help we spotted fine chicks. Immediately my cousin suggested we check it out. As we walked in, we wondered if they were about to announce the winner of a major lottery as the place was really crowded. This ice cream must be good we told ourselves. Meanwhile prior to that, we have never had cold stone ice cream before, also our money was greatly depleted already.
I took a sit and surveyed my possible targets while my cousin went to dig out some ice cream. He got to the queue and when it was his turn, my cousin almost fainted as he heard the price. Lowest was N1,700 and we were two meaning N3,400. That’s excluding toppings and other things. *hands on head* He informed me of our situations and asked what should be done? You say watin I replied, is it not to get up and leave, see my life o when I cannot come and kill myself. Mr man lets be going. That is how my cousin came up with the logic of us staying o, that we cannot just fall hand like that besides rich people were there. Please, when am not Bill gate or Dangote. I got up to leave then my cousin brought up an idea that we contribute and buy it. Well on a second thought I obliged. We literally brought all the money we had excluding our transport fare back home.
We got the ice cream and instead of us peacefully taking the ice cream there, we left. Maybe we were carried away by the fine girls we were seeing that we forgot ice creams melts eventually.
See me as I got home well gingered to come and demolish “Cold stone ice creams” my heart was broken. First thing about half the content poured inside the Polly bag then the once attractive ice cream was looking like river Nile but this time in coffee like colour. Everything has melted, our N3,400. The pain I felt I cannot describe. Money that I would have used to buy data and yab people on twitter or see a movie or low key use for transport to eat pussy, everything gone. With this I decided never again will I carry last.
Written by Dipo.
(Picture withheld on request)